Unemployed husband rejects $60K job offer because he used to make $90K, upsets his wife who makes $19 an hour working 60 hours a week: 'I come back from 16 or 8 hour shift and I still have to figure out dinner and other chores'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 7, 2025 8:00 AM EST

A job's a job.

It's a lot easier to find a job when you have a job. Recruiters are less likely to perceive you as a desperate person who is willing to say anything to get the gig. If the salary or job expectations aren't what you wanted them to be, you can walk away without losing out on anything except maybe your time. 

If you're unemployed, there are a couple of routes you could take in your job search. You could take a lower-paying job delivering pizzas or driving for Uber, so you at least have some income coming in. You could live off of your emergency fund and take the first full-time job that wants you, even if it is at a pay cut, and continue looking for a better-paying job after you're hired. If you have enough money in savings to live off of for a couple of years, you can shop around for the perfect next gig, not settling for less than you deserve. 

The 3rd option is fine and dandy if you're supporting yourself through unemployment, but what if your partner is working overtime to ensure you both can keep your heads above water? If that were the case, wouldn't you opt for the first or second option?

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  • Young bearded freelance designer in eyeglasses looking at laptop display while scrolling through online information during remote work
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The husband in this story has been supported by his wife for a while, so he didn't feel the urgency of accepting a $60K job after having previously worked a $90K job.

  • Am I wrong for getting upset that my husband rejected a job offer because it pays less.

    My husband lost his job 2 months ago, it was paying around $90k a year. He didn't do anything wrong for him to lose his job.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • He's been job hunting very much but the market is really bad. I make $19/hr which isn't much but does sustain us especially because I do a lot of overtime.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • I'm very much supportive at this time. I was once out of work for a year and my husband supported me.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • I used to babysit here and there and wasn't really making much. My $19/hr job is physically demanding, my body aches everyday I come back from work, either on my 16 hr or 8hr shift and I still have to figure out dinner and other chores.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • He be home all day, go to the gym and apply for jobs online. At first I didn't want him to feel like I'm mistreating him as he lost his job but I thought at some point he would think for me.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • Now yes when he had a job I was still working and doing chores all my myself but now I'm doing a lot of overtime to cover our bills so I thought he would help with cooking or doing dishes.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • When I was out of work, I was doing all the chores, cooking, cleaning laundry, his lunch everything.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • Woman with headphones mopping a wooden floor
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I wasn't bringing any income so that's the best I could do at the time. I love my husband but I'm starting to resent how he's not being considerate that I might be tired and try to help me.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • I understand he's depressed and stressed. I've communicated this with him and he's agreed to help but never do or he'll jokingly say "ohh I have to cook coz I'm a bum" so I just do stuff for him then but I'm tired mentally.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • A person pouring a bottle of wine into a bowl of vegetables
    via Thomas Franke (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Going back, he got an offer today but it's $30k short from what he was making.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • He feels disrespected with that offer. He did ask me what he should do but he's already told me how he felt about it and how he wasn't happy with it, so I told him don't take it then, I'll support whatever decision.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • He quickly denied the offer. I did support him doing that but just realized I'm so angry that he actually denied that offer.
    via u/introvertedgeli
  • Fragrant-Duty-9015 YTA because you told him you supported whatever decision, when cheating you don't. NTA for expecting him to pick up the slack around the house. You need to stop catering to him. Just do your own cooking, your own laundry, etc. This man has the nerve to go to the gym while you're working overtime and doing all household tasks? What a loser
    via u/Fragrant-Duty-9015
  • Lopsided-Day-1442 I don't blame you! This is a really tough job market. People who have jobs get jobs much faster than those who don't have jobs. He should take the next job that comes his way, and move up from there.
    via u/Lopsided-Day-1442
  • tessduoy I really hope you two find a better balance soon, but if I were in your shoes, I would've taken the offer. We're in a weird time where salaries are often lower than they were a couple of years ago; it sucks, but that's the market. When there's no income coming in, everything just moves deeper into the negative, so taking whatever job you can get, doing solid but healthy work, and continuing to look for something better on the side can be the most realistic path unless you're financially
    via u/tessduoy
  • UnluckyCountry2784 YTA to yourself because you always considered his feelings so you just do the chores.
    via u/UnluckyCountry2784
  • Tootsie-Chateau59 He turned down the opportunity to bring home an extra $5,000 per month? "My dear, you need to call them back and beg for that job. Then you keep looking for the $90,000 annual salary job. But right now..... it's money."
    via u/Tootsie-Chateau59
  • This WeekInTheRegency I think you should have been honest with him. Now if you say anything, it'll be 'but you said I could!' However, a frank discussion is in order about how he is not supporting you in any way and this was a way he could have taken the burden from you, but he put his pride above you. NTA but don't hold it in. Talk it through.
    via u/ThisWeekInTheRegency
  • OrganicFox3149 So you're paying all the bills by working your ass off doing overtime and then you're doing all the household chores like cooking and cleaning? Uh, why are you with this man?
    via u/OrganicFox3149
  • Traepeezy In my life experience it's always easier to find a job when you have one versus being unemployed. I'd have taken the job and continued to look because quite frankly $60,000 annually nothing. I wouldn't have been the most excited about it but as mentioned nothing is stopping you from constantly finding something better. As far as the chores goes that's crazy inconsiderate. He seems to know you'll take care of it so it just makes his decision to not do it easier.
    via u/Traepeezy
  • Vegetable_Pea_870 60k is a hell of a lot more than nothing. A real partner does what they can to take the load off their partner. The fact that he isn't busting his ass around the house is honestly wildly unattractive.
    via u/Vegetable_Pea_870
  • stallion8426 Did you talk to him about any of this?
    via u/stallion8426
  • OP introvertedgeli I've talked to him more than I can remember. The only thing we haven't spoken about is me telling him exactly how I feel about him turning down the job
    via u/introvertedgeli

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